In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
