i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
