D3 body, D1 cock
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
