we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
