? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
