I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
