so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
