I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
