How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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