Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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