I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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