I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
