You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
