he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
