am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
