playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Randomize
