I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
