Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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