How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
