just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
