I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
