Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
