I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
