He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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