"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
