The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
