You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
