He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
