is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
