seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
