I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
