lets start a swedish sibling band together
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
