Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
