6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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