People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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