come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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