it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A bitchslap is in order.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
