If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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