i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
