I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
