You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
