His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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