Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cannot find my penis.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
