it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
