just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
