Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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