I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
