awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
