we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
