How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
